I Like Cake, So?

Is it bad that I’ve been called fat more times in my own home in the last week than I have in three years of public middle school?

First off, I was drinking water, and my grandma starts talking to me. “You need to put a hold on this eating and drinking thing. You’l get heart problems or sugar diabetes!”

Later, I was getting milk (which is famous for being healthy anyway!) and my grandma called me over to where I was sitting. I go over there and this is what she says to me: 

“You’re getting fat, honey. Don’t you want boys to think you’re pretty and hold hands with you in the mall? You’ll never have a boyfriend with all that weight you have.”

I have a few reactions to this.

One, does she really think that if I’m overweight I won’t ever have boyfriends? How shallow is that? That statement has absolutely no reasoning behind it. It makes me sosososososososo MAD when I hear things like that. I’m angrier now than I have ever been. I could say so much about my fury over it, but let’s stop there.

It also makes me feel like locking myself into my room forever and never eating again. I mean, I know I’m overweight but my dad and grandma feel the need to remind me over..and over..and over.

They try to sugarcoat it, naming all these supposed health risks. But I’m not stupid. They don’t really care about all that. They just don’t want their daughter to be the Fat Kid. It sounds really shallow of them, but it’s the truth. Having the Fat Daughter is the most shameful thing you can do to people like them. Having the Fat Daughter means imperfection which means he’s failed as a parent. In minds such as his, being fat is the worst thing that can happen. It sounds like flawed logic, and let me tell you….It totally is.

My take on it is, being overweight is hardly a problem. In the grand scheme of things, it’s a lot better than being a pot smoker or drunk or being stupid. Am I right? It’s really the least of my worries most of the time, until something like this happens and I consider going on a superduperextranothing diet. I don’t call myself fat… I prefer the term, food enthusiast. 

All in all, I’m angry, self-concious, hungry and have a debilitating headache.

I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again..

I don’t belong in this family.

Not as long as I’m The Fat Kid…

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