Violence

I’m so angry with myself.
In the last year or so I’ve gotten just so violent. It makes me sick. I keep telling myself that I can stop when I want but I can’t.
I won’t go detailed here but today I hit my father. He got in my face so I just hit him. And if I can hit my father, who’s to say I won’t hit my children when I’m older? I’m slowly becoming Sharyl. I told myself to never let it happen but it is. When I’m angry I have to do something physical- punching something, i.e- to feel like I’m successful. It never gets me anything, so why? Because of Sharyl. I have too much of her in me. I need to overcome this before I land myself in a psych ward.

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